I probably won’t come across as a girl with a challenging spirit who super-focuses on achieving my goals in a superfast manner. To add to that trait are the writing challenges that my fellow bloggers so presentably offered me that went so awful every single time!I’m truly sorry for that blunder from the bottom of my heart!
Well I started off with the challenges being A-Z challenge a few months ago but alas, “E” was the maximum I could get to and why I go through these is a bitter topic to talk about.
Of Dreams was a post that enjoyed writing in that challenge!
If you have read most of my posts, it is associated to fiction more often and as I would love to put it as a play that manifests into words on a blank page! There are stories weaving in the top floor, zenith with all the captured moments, some are beautiful, some are ugly and some more are abrupt and abstract but I have come a long way.
I started to blog seriously from the February of 2015, my earlier posts are amaetuer enough to know that I’m novice at that. I sometimes want to return and erase them all. There are posts even now that go unnoticed to my sceptical scrutiny yet today I will cherish the journey that I have been through till now. They carved me out from a simple dusty stone into something that is more crystal and clearer. I need to improvise, need to achieve more, need to learn and to write better.
I write when I feel to write, when something connects me, I so badly want to write in a streak like 30 days in a row. Oh! forget 3o, I wasn’t able to write for 3 days in a 3 day qoute challenge!
I couldn’t complete that and I have mixed emotions associated with it.
How can I not write when it is a prompt!
A prompt never prompted me to write!
A prompt never took me anywhere, taking the real sense, I can connect to an incident in my college.
It was in a Logic Design lab and we had our externals, Of all the experiments that was good at, my luck and turn of the dice at the wrong moment brought me in face-to-face with the Series shift registers! It was a very easy experiment which I had totally ignored!
So bam, moment of truth, I didn’t know how to carry on! The invigilator was in fumes when he got to know of my ignorance! I was shattered, never once in life was I tormented so badly in front of the whole damn class.
My friends helped me, prompted me, gestured in various ways to get me on track! It was THE EXAM for christs sake. I was broken but I never could assimilate and analyse their alien gesturing. There was only one way left. Learn it then and there!
I went to my Sir who by now was truly pissed off and asked him to explain just the basics and I would perform the experiment. He eyed me for a moment and gave a brief theory of the basic principles involved. I understood in fragments but still went to the table, took all the tangled wires, studied the kit for a moment and started my own experiments.
I hadn’t written any procedure in my blue book, well I didn’t know! I slowly gathered courage and melted my concentration only to that specific theory. I worked through it, the kit was adamant to be any lenient! I had the wrong readings, I didn’t get the output! I tried, my perseverance was laughed at! But then it was my exam, I had to learn and trust me, no expert classes could have me have a better idea of the shift registers and series and parallel inputs and outputs!
By the end of the three hour time slot, I had learnt my way through the vague misty path, stepped on, tripped and gathered strength to walk on! I finally got the right output! It was an easy experiment except that I had not studied for it!
Out of 50, I scored a 36 that day! I have always had a track record of never going below 44 and 36 was a bad mark. But the satisfaction that my soul attained that day after going through that strenuous path, learning on my own, taking up the challenge! It was adventurous!
I felt so happy! I loved my score I have never loved 50 on 50 this much!
See, I am that adamant to go on my own path, carving it out with true heart.
There are number of websites that help you to write, prompt you to write more but I couldn’t take it up. I just can’t, probably I need to discipline myself!
Although I write most of the times, not all the posts make to the blog, I don’t always obsess on PUBLISH!