I walked the lonely corridors bereft of enthusiastic healthy people, the walls resounded of the painful wails, deep rumbles, persistent coughs and every other ailment I had known of, that had walked this corridor .It had an hidden impact stirring through me. The 24 hour slot was turning to be unmarked, redefining the day and night to me; it was just the sun and night sky. No deep slumbers, no long talks, sometimes breakfast would be my dinner and midnight, my early morning, I could sense my biological cycles bemused with a determined uncertain drift .
Everything was new yet very familiar, I realized that the practicals were way far different from the theory I had studied for the past consistent consecutive five years, and every new situations drew a new rule with new information knocking my brains. All the lessons that I had previously studied with my heart and soul, had been personified, be it the fatal diseases, the contagious flu’s, the sore ailments, everything had undergone an impactful metamorphosis but not to a single entity but expanding like the engulfing cancerous cells.
I’m 23, a doctor, sorry “a-to-be-doctor” undergoing my internship, my first venture into reality, away from books and ranks, confined now in the service oriented industry of medicine. The coat that is wrapped as a significance of dignity is dubious to get stained, the rightful adamant stethoscope confident of its skills adhere to me like a dear friend, my watch faithful with its time await for me to have my “me” time, but what does the trickster time know of?
The reality strikes me with the realizations that day and night fade away, that friends and family are miles away while I tend to the other’s kith and kin. The other people whom I never know of, never crossed paths with, arrogant people, soft-spoken ones, complaining ones, injured ones, unhygienic ones, dying ones…People whom I knew I would be facing and meeting one day !
Mulled over my own train of thoughts, I become alert at the faint creek arising from the adjacent ward, ward number 109. It was time for duty albeit the slight creek didn’t sound of an emergency but a sixth sense had developed vigorously.
As I rushed towards the ward, there was a deep echo of a tumbler falling down that continued till I reached the patient only to register that he was not there on the assigned bed but on the floor, heaving for breath, his body slouching a C with perpetual series of strokes that his body was undergoing.
It was an heart attack, in a fleeting moment,I was beside him, trying to calm him down, with his attempt to breath more ,he would die, I needed help, I wasn’t worried which every human should be, there was a part of me changing….My heart that used to pour out to people in pain before ,wasn’t much affected now .I had been upset when I found out that I was developing a cold heart, emotions were dying in me.
But today, as I help the profusely sweating patient on my lap ,I feel less and I know I need to act! And probably this is why I have started to be less emotional, sympathy wouldn’t save him, treatment would.
I call for immediate help, his nervous system was freaking out, I sensed that he would be going to through a lot of pain, it was a fatal strike not that he had admitted as a heart patient but a few scratches and a fractured leg from the accident he had survived from yesterday, this was totally unexpected.
“Call for the senior doctors” I calmly order the staff that was now wheeling him to the super-specialty. The more calmer I looked ,the more tensed I was, calculating his chances of survival, if his heart stops beating then it would oddly take five to seven minutes for his brain to shut down ! It was eleventh hour emergency.
“None of the senior doctors are available Doctor” I was tensed as soon I heard the news; it was all on me, his survival, his future, his happiness and his heartbeat!
The Specialty has a tensed atmosphere, the squabbling, the silent ordered chaos among-st the staff, I had done CPR a million times before, I was trained to but not on a real person fighting a war between life and death.
I take an intake of deep breath, calm myself and put him to drugs so as to prevent the platelets from clogging, the oxygen to the body was supplied and I went in for the heart catheterization to identify the blockage,with bated breath I followed the instructions from my senior over the phone until he reached!
There wasn’t much emotions hosting in me, just the work at hand and a sense of undeniable determination to save him, I had slogged for years to save people and I would do so, It was a complicated procedure and being an intern, risks were huge but I had pledged to save and so I did!
I reached home exhausted from the mental pressure and the tiresome night, mom welcomed me with a smile and cup of milk. As she smiled, I realized that somewhere I had been the cause for that smile in somebody else’s life on somebody else’s mother and I know it’s worth, it’s priceless,the impact of the event overwhelmed me!
“What is it? Are you tired?” my mom caressed my head lovingly.
“I saved a person Mom, He is alive because of me” I grinned and snuggled on to her lap, I Knew I would sleep now, after days of dilemma, after days of doubts about the younger cousins adulation, I knew that if I can create a smile and protect a heartbeat somewhere, my loved ones would live the very same smile ,as a doctor I have started to believe that it’ll be worth it, unlike a few days back when I had pondered on its worthiness in my life!
There is a voice inside me, exuberant, righteous and assiduous enough to let me know that it is all worth it ,after all Medicine chose me, subjects chose me, god chose me to save his creation and I know that he’ll keep his promise of blessing my family with happiness ,peaceful and a content life!
My higher studies are still in haze ,if surgeries chooses me, I would save people and if research chooses me, I would still save people ,protecting them and inventing the hidden medicinal practices to make my world safer and my very own world peaceful with my favorite white coat!
Deep down I know that someday, my own blood will be so inspired and motivated by my struggles, I Know they would love me beyond their own souls for I will be spending my life that chose me, a life that I dreamt of!