It has been hard lately to concentrate on the things that I want to indulge.Maybe sometimes I just want the introvert in me that hides somewhere under my scrutinous eyes to come out,dance and embrace the loneliness because sometimes I just want to abandon the extrovert me and prefer to be alone,cladded in a baggy patiala and a comfortable over-sized short top lazing around,I just want my usually groomed hair all tied up into a loose bun,just my skin ,normal, devoid of all extra care.I just want to be let lazy,relaxed and alone.
This is the phase of I-just-
cant-dont-want-to-do-anything that I prefer to experience as its my worst low,I cant crib or cry more than this and I am capable of embracing the positive sunlight,I can hear a little voice smile because I know after this stage I’m going to bounce back as hard as I can.Active and energetic, lovely and smiling,fit with zeal,everything back to the way I just want it to be.Its not easy to cope up with myself sometimes,I feel like divorcing myself,yeah seriously,but i’m stuck up with me..such is the fury for my lame excuses for not getting my work done.All I want is not a perfect life but a life where I can see perfectness in all the little things in their own unique way.By this I don’t mean that I want the room to be prestinely clean without a speck of dust peeking from a corner but I want it neat.I don’t want my cupboard organised alphabetically like the monika geller syndrome(chuckles) but just so that I can get my things when needed without much fuss.
A job just went out of my hands as I couldn’t relocate to the places they recommend me to go,I can’t leave my family,i just love them too much.Just being a fresher demands the flexibility to travel places and yes I love to travel but with my loved ones.I don’t need a job I need a career where I can be both happy and contended and never mind to work over-hours.So right now ,I jus stay at home learning to be all ladylike just the way my mom wants me to be but I hate it,then I actually owe her so much as she has always been a supporting pillar in all my decisions,so decided to make her happy,its hard but doable:),,oh I also have started to try my luck on culinary skills,so far so good:),then getting back to my oldest,most trustworthy friend,WRITING!!!thank god I can muster up to write decently(not very good or excellent per-se) but where i can find solace…i love myself when i write and it makes me rechart my life,my goals and my tiny little expectations..:)